You Can Count on West Ham’s Unpredictability

He is a supporter of West Ham United, features in one of the writer’s all-time favorite movies, The Who’s Quadrophenia, and his gravelly voice can be heard in TV commercials urging viewers to “bet in play – now.” And some of us pay attention when Ray Winstone speaks.

However, the tough-guy actor would undoubtedly turn the air (claret and) blue with some choice expletives before striking you in the nose if you brought up the thought of betting against the Hammers.

For the majority of football enthusiasts, failing to support your own team—or even going so far as to wager on the opposition—equates to heresy, an act of betrayal or treason worthy of a cruel and agonizing penalty.

Something like having to eat shattered glass in a bowl of cold semolina or, well, listening to Ed Sheeran’s whole discography nonstop—it’s hard to choose which is the most unbearably painful. Diane Abbott and Jeremy Corbyn going to dinner must also be on the agenda.

Usually, though, when this journalist confesses that he often wagers on the opposing club to win while West Ham is playing, the response is a straightforward “you can’t do that” accompanied by a look of distaste.

It’s seen as an outright no-no, something that violates the law or at least the fan’s rights, as though doing so somehow tips the scales in favor of the opposing team. As if, that’s it, and we are now without hope.

Which is absurd, of course, given the Hammers typically win games without the assistance of outsiders (though it appears the referees like to lend a hand from time to time).

Having insurance is, of course, the main goal of it all. Everyone purchases insurance to protect their assets in the event of an accident, so in the event that West Ham’s home burns down, they will ultimately receive some sort of monetary settlement and comfort.

Knowing that a wad of money could arrive in the worst-case scenario, should the Hammers have a stinker, is consoling and helps to lessen the suffering (if only by buying enough beer to dull the senses).

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